bell of the porn shop

I have found a place I can go to feel wanted and needed. My lovers are old and lost men who need me to feel whole again. After all what other 23 year old will suck 60 year old cock. I have no pride. no respect for myself.

Look mama I'm sucking dick like a big boy.

What have I done to my self. I have put so muck dick in my face and swollowed so much cum that I no longer can look at myself.

The first time I had sex I talk to Torsten and he told me that because I didn't cum I was still a virgin. That made me mad. I wouldn't have gotten so drunk that I could let a fat kid fuck me if I know that I had to cum to no longer be a virgin.

I'm going to do my best to close down my mind and fuck my way to an understanding that I'm pretty.

lover letter a little too late.

I forgot what it was like to love some one who wont love you back. I for got that sometimes you just cant change things and that even if you dont want to you have to let some one walk away. I was at the bar waching drag queens and boys that I would rather kick in the face before I let them fuck me. But some how I'll let some 38 year old fuck me cause I want to feel him next to me again. They don't love me. My light beer don't love me and I don't want to be giving my money to old drag queens and letting these fucking gay boys size me up. No I will stay at this bar with my face hard and cold. I will try to not let the chep beer go to my head and get sad. I want to strip you from my mind, I want you back. I want to kill. I need blood.

I will run for an hour at the gym and work out four times a week and soon you will understand that you could have asked any thing from me and I would have given it to you, I just want you back again. Use me, waste me. Put me away in and forget about me. but stay close to me. Let me sleep in your bed and grow to hate you. them you can walk away from me.

If you love something let it go?

I don't know how to do this the right way. I still don't understand how you could so easly walk away from me and just move on. Having thouhgt that you did still love me I dont understand why you would one day be all like oh thats right I hate having a boyfriend. Fuck you!!! I hate that you hurt me, and I hate that I let you hurt me. I was find before you walked into my life.

are you there god its me David?

god I ask you one thing and one thing only do you think I'm sexy?

space

in the small space of my left ear cannal lives a little man who tells me just how and when to do the wrong and right thing. It is my life goal to have him help me become a god powerful and cold. Every one would look at me and want to fuck me and touch me and be loved by me, need me. But that little god of a man is slow at his work and I am still just a boy.