it all makes me so sick!

Im going to take dog crap and rub it all over the doors of your work. Then every time i walk by ill spit my gum out. and ill take crap about you to your boyfreinds friends. Im going to be that kid who wants to hurt you who wants to make you the pain that i felt. I want to make you cry as you walk in center city.

I cant the only way for me to do that is for you to love your new boyfriend. madly love him. hate your self for any thing bad that you did. And want to hold on to him, even as your friends tell you to drop him. I want you think that he wants things to work. and then he needs to hurt you.

you may not believe me when i say this, but if that happend to you it would hurt me too. Caue you hurt case you your in love with him not cause you love me.

There is nothing i can do to hurt you like you hurt me.

I believed you and now i find myself in a strange place. im looking good and i feel good but im lost. alone and scare to love again. scared to be hurt. and it makes me sick to be this that guy. that sad sad man with a cold heart. i feel raw.

Hello i have become a hore... i always was.

I want you to know that i before you i had felt pain. In that way you were not the first.

from up above every thing looks sick

I saw two flys fucking today. They were so fat, and i could see the black hairs on the females body standing up like spines. that little male didn't care he grbbed that female and fucking rapped her. In the wild wild world of bugs cats and dogs. lions tigers and bears. sex isn't a joy.

then agin every sex isnt always a walk in the park. every time in the back of my mind is fear that i may get hurt, or get some fucked up std. I have yet to get an std. But every time i get a cold im srue that its HIV And yet i go out of my way to not get tested. Some timed not knowing is the best game plain.

Its nuts how much we think about sex. How much money we spend for it and the things and people that we fuck. I have gotten so use to letting people that i dont know fuck me that im ok with asking things like "are you going to be done soon, cause i have things i need to do" or "ok now what about me?"

I want to to fly up next time im getting fucked. i want to leave my body and look down at my self from above. see my lips as they wisper "i just want him to be over"