jim, i think thats his name, looks down at me. he keepes telling me how nice it is that im so calm. I'm not going to tell jim, or is it tim? What ever, let say Jim, i just wont say his name to him. I'm not going to tell him that this isn't my first time fucking a guy that i didn't know. I am calm, i use to be scared when i would me up with a guy i didn't know or care about or like in any way. But her i am nude in a high rise in center city. god what a view, i could let this guy fuck me just for the view. Oh i forgot that center city could be so pretty looking. God what i would give to live in this apartmet with a guy that i wanted to fuck me, with a man with a dick that could get hard, and and a man who would never want me clothed. I want a man to see me as a man, not a "dirty little bottom boy, you like that cock in your ass don't you"... you know what tim, jim, kim, what ever. im not hard cause of your 43 year old cock. Im rock hard cause im looking out your window and the city looks so alive!
i'll stay in his bed after he fucks me, not the best but not bad. God i wish that i liked him, i wish that i loved him. that i wanted to kiss him and feel his body. I don't even want to look at him. I keep doing this. I don't care for any of the guys i let fuck me. Wait thats not true. i loved frank. and i liked... thats it, wow look at me go. Fucking my way to the top. Sex and love what good are they? I had a man who loved me but the sex got to safe, sex should never be calm. it should be scary and fucked up. you should feel like you were uesed for your looks. You don't want to feel loved, you want to feel like your dirty and a hoe.
i want to feel clean. and want the light of a high rise on my skin.
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